You might laugh. You might even call me crazy. But I am a binge eater and I am addicted to food. I am addicted to the process of eating, the emotional attachment, the way it even makes me feel. Food and I, We have a love hate relationship. Last night I went to run an errand and no one was with me. I wasn't even hungry but I found myself in the fast food drive thru throwing down two burritos like it was no bodies business. I WASN'T EVEN HUNGRY!!!! I wanted it because I was there, it was there and it simply is not something I have allowed myself in months.
Here is the thing, I know when it started. About a week ago I allowed myself to have a grown up weekend with my husband. We had adult drinks, just a couple each nothing that made us shit faced or anything. We relaxed, we enjoyed and then I fell hard. I then allowed myself some candy with a movie, some crust with a pizza, a sugary coffee and the list goes on and since then I haven't been able to crawl out of the whole. It just keeps getting worse and my old habits are haunting me.
A lot of people would look at this and think "just don't do it, don't eat it" but it isn't that easy. BELIEVE ME I wish I could. I wish it was just a matter of will power and personal strength but it is something else. Hell people, I quit smoking cold turkey and it was easier than this!!
The struggle is not only real it is terrifying.
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